T has made a bamboo suspension frame in his living room. It is three pieces of bamboo lashed together at the top and seems to be stable so far. He hung his roommate from it first because I wasn’t in the mood on Sunday when we got the pieces but he strung me up on Monday.
I’m of two minds about suspension. I like the feeling of the ropes and the fact that T is so attentive when we’re doing one, but there doesn’t seem to be many good positions that one can be suspended in that have the relevant body areas free to be smacked. I don’t like to be suspended just for the sake of it – maybe I really am a selfish bottom but I like to get something out of the transaction too.
The last suspension was the one at BIO where I couldn’t concentrate and couldn’t get into the swing of things. Oh, and there was the suspension at Y’s party on Saturday night but after stringing me up, T didn’t play with me. Lisa did instead. It hadn’t been negotiated but it ended up being rather fun – more so when I was taken down and she obliged me by giving me a flogging. It was her first time flogging someone and my first time being topped by a female and we ended up having a hot scene on the St Andrew’s cross. She flogged me and spanked me and did some sensation play with her nails. It was great.
Maybe I am expecting too much from suspension and I need to let go of my preconceived ideas about how it should work and what should happen once I’m up. Maybe I’m trying too hard to control the situation and not allowing myself that sink into submission that used to come so easily whenever I played.
Or maybe it’s the problem that I constantly battle with, that I can be submissive when I am not training in my martial arts or I can train hard and not be able to find my submissive centre easily, if at all.
This problem keeps raising its head and I don’t have any solutions yet.