I suppose it’s best to get all these bad physical things out of the way before I go to Europe, but lemme tell ya, I’m fed up!

In January (February?) it was my ankle.
In April it was my knee.
As of last night, it is my eye.

I went for a walk last night and my right eye started watering uncontrollably, feeling like when you are walking into a heavy wind and it’s making your eyes tear up. My mum put some drops in when I got back to her house and it made it feel better for a short time, but when I went to bed and closed my eyes, I got a pain on the inner corner of my socket, and my eye again started watering. I couldn’t close my eye! I took some Tylenol but it didn’t do much good. The only position that I could close my eye was if my head was parallel to the bed, looking down at it. Obviously I would not be able to breath if I tried to lie like that, so I was supporting my head with my hands and just … lying there. It wouldn’t have been so bad but I had to open today at work so I had to get up at 4:30.

I barely slept. It felt a little better when I got up but I kept having episodes during my shift – my eye would start to hurt, start to water, and then get really bloodshot. Then after about a minute or so, it would stop. I went to the clinic and they couldn’t see anything, so the doctor sent me to the ophthalmologist down the hall. They managed to squeeze me in after only a 20 minute wait, and after the doctor did a couple tests, he told me that I had a piece of iron on my cornea.

wtf? Where had that come from? Do we have random small pieces of iron floating around in the air?

Did you know that tears are formed in three places in your eye? There’s a tear duct above your eye, but also along the lids, and also the whites of your eyes make tears. I thought that was interesting. The doctor showed me a picture of the eye and how there are two drainage tubes (for lack of the proper terms) in the inner corner of the eye that drain tears into the nasal cavity and then into the back of the throat. He wanted to make sure that those were open and working properly, and that procedure was not fun. It’s not like it was the most painful thing I’ve ever endured but it’s really difficult when someone is poking sharp objects around your eye. Ugh. Then the doctor held my eye open with some kind of device and picked the pieces of iron out. I expected that part to be worse but actually it didn’t hurt at all. It was very strange – my left eye was closed and watering like crazy, but my right eye was wide open and staring at the bright light directly above me, and I could see the instrument that the doctor was using, and could see it touching my eye, but I couldn’t feel it. Weird.

Then he bandaged me up to look like a pirate. I had a white patch over my right eye secured with scotch tape that I was supposed to leave on until tomorrow morning, but I’ve taken it off to watch the game.

Speaking of which, Nazzy just scored and I must go to concentrate on the game. And for the Nazzy haters, it’s his fourth goal of the playoffs and it’s time for y’all to shut the fuck up.

Anyway, my eye is still sore and feeling weak, and as soon as the game is over, I’m gonna bandage it back up so that it can continue to rest until tomorrow, and fingers crossed it will be better by morning.

Footnote: Anaheim Ducks are a bunch of cheap bastards. I’ve been trying to avoid being a hater but they are so cheap. Bastards.

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