Toronnoh

In between watching Boston sweep the World Series for the second time in four years, I watched a mostly entertaining spoofy documentary about why Toronto sucks. A guy from Toronto is horrified to hear that the country hates Toronto so he goes across the country, trying to have a “Toronto Appreciation Day”. He asks people from all over why they hate Toronto, and people from Toronto why they think they are hated.

At the end there were ten reasons. I only remember two.

The Maple Leafs.

The “Centre of the Universe” perception.

I admit – both piss me off about Toronto. I can go off on rants about Ottawa, the government, the balance of power, Ontario, etc etc. In fact, I did so at Scorchtone’s a few parties ago. I don’t remember what exactly was said that pissed me off but I do remember that it was said by the guy who had just moved to Vancouver from Toronto, and it was said with the typical Ontario-centric point of view that is epidemic in those who have just arrived from Eastern Canada. It was only when I got home that I realized that every single person sitting in the living room was not a Vancouverite by birth, except me.

Which makes me realize – I can laugh at Toronto because people wouldn’t be moving to Vancouver in droves if it weren’t manifestly better here. So keep your Maple Leafs, keep your illusion of being the “New York City of Canada”, keep your crazy hot summers and snowy cold winters, keep your blackouts and your smog and your bugs. I’ll keep my Canucks, my coffee shops, my rain, my mountains, my air that I can breath, my water that I can drink, and my outdoor lifestyle that promotes healthiness and happiness and longevity.

And after all that, what can I have left for Toronto except … pity. Sorry guys. You can always join the westward migration.

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4 Responses to Toronnoh

  1. kinky_tink says:

    I’m not sure why, but I can usually tell if a guy is from TO within a few minutes…at least within a few meetings. They seem to have this wall of cynicism built up around them…or is it arrogance? Either way, I’ve flagged 3 in the last few months. They’ll be mid-sentence, usually on some rant, and I’ll just say…”you’re from Toronto, aren’t you?”. This is often met with a blank stare, agreement, then returning to the rant.

    I can’t tell with women.

    • Erin says:

      Interesting that it’s only with men …

      One funny part in the show was a guy who is from Toronto was saying that when he meets people from other parts of Canada and they find out he’s from Toronto that there’s this pause … they don’t really know what to say. You can’t say, “sorry” but you kinda want to…

  2. kippersnack says:

    Hey now, Toronto doesn’t count as part of the East coast… 😉

    • Erin says:

      I know that technically Toronto isn’t on the East Coast but you know how it’s always referred to as that, at least out here. I bet the Maritimes *hate* that!

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