You mention the anticipation before competition and the exhilaration in the moment. Even when I have competed and won, I have never felt that. Ever. I think it comes down to personality quirks that one is born with and tendencies to prefer one thing over another. Your preference is towards competition and mine is away from, or at best, neutral.

(I’ve always been competitive about the things that matter to me. I can be just as happy to help others win or go along at my own pace, but that’s generally in situations where I know that it would be unfair to compete or that competition would be adverse/useless or disadvantageous to those involved. I think it probably has just as much to do with upbringing than anything else. You stated that you hated team sports because you weren’t very good at them and that you don’t like the feeling before/during competing. I’m the opposite. I was highly successful at team team sports as a child and derived a lot of my sense of self confidence from my successes. I had two brothers who pushed me to be the best and parents who encouraged me. Even as an adult, I still revel in the feeling of anticipation before a competition and the exhilaration I derive in the moment of intense competitive challenges is indescribable. Think of it as psychological behaviourism: For me, positive reinforcement = repeat behaviour. For you, negative reinforcement led to a desire to avoid the behaviours.)

(We’ll ignore the fact that I occasionally invent contests that nobody is participating in, like Christmas. I totally won Christmas last year…)