There and back again

I ran into one of my ex-boyfriends on Facebook a few weeks ago. I friended him, he friended me back, and then we emailed a bit, and then we went for coffee. It was cool, actually, to see him again. We broke up 7 years ago, so any anger or sadness or anything has faded; there’s no bitterness.

We chatted for about an hour at coffee and it was nice to talk about things that happened in that chapter of my life that no one else shares or remembers. He remembered that I always have to read the blurb on a book or a movie before partaking while he can take someone’s word for it that it’s good and just go for it. We remembered sharing an entire package of bacon on one lazy Saturday when all we did was eat, smoke pot, and read our books together on the couch. We remembered so many things together and it was just … nice.

We went for dinner the other night (which sounds like a date but it wasn’t – two friends getting food together) and we talked books. We always had the same taste in books and frequently when we were dating we would be reading the same series at the same time. I would always be ahead because I read so much faster, and he would try to wheedle plot information out of me but I never gave in. We talked about books we read then, books we’ve read since, and shared titles that we thought the other would like.

At the end of dinner, he asked if I wanted to come hang out at his place for a bit, but was honest about trying to seduce me if I came. I laughed and refused – too far past that phase in my life to go down the same road again.

He called me tonight to ask about a title and we ended up chatting for about half an hour. Miracle in and of itself since I hate the phone and would way rather speak to someone face to face than communicate on the phone, but there’s something that is comfortable about talking to him. He was my best friend for 3 years and there is still a part of me that remembers that closeness and responds.

We agreed that it was best that he brought the seduction thing right out in the open. Asked, refused, and now we can just be book buddies who go for coffee occasionally to discuss books. Besides Rachel, there’s no one else I can talk books with. I missed that without knowing it. One of my fondest memories of our time together was reading together in bed or on the couch. For someone who doesn’t read, I know they can feel shut out by their significant other reading (I know from experience – mental note: never date a non-reader again) but with him and I, it was never like that. Maybe because we shared the passion; maybe because we shared the books themselves and could talk about characters and plot development.

Anyway. It’s been nice to talk to someone who ‘knew me when’. I know that I’ve changed a lot in my 20s and it’s nice (what a bland word but I can’t think of another) to look back on who I was with someone who loved that person.

Originally published at idle musings. You can comment here or there.

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