This and that

Today at work, a few of the girls were discussing how many points were in the different items we sell. I was in a meeting with my boss so I couldn’t address it then, but later, when I was in the back room with two of them, I did.

Girl 1: I’ve lost 3 pounds so far with WW!

Girl 2: That’s awesome! Good for you!

Me: Diet talk makes me feel uncomfortable.

Girl 1: Oh! I’m sorry. *changes subject*

I have already mentioned to the one on the diet (fuck you and your ‘it’s not a diet’ bullshit, WW) that I follow intuitive eating (although not recently) and gave her a few websites to check out, but I guess she’s made her decision to carry on dieting regardless. That is her choice for her body and I won’t argue with her.

But I’m still happy with myself for being strong enough to voice that I was uncomfortable, and I’m glad that I have such a strong relationship with my employees that she wasn’t offended or put off by my reaction – she respected me enough to change the subject.

~

I haven’t been thinking very much about food recently. I haven’t noticed if my medication has changed my appetite or not – I just haven’t been putting any effort into thinking about my body in regards to food. When I’m hungry, I put something in it. It’s been a whole lot of home made mac ‘n’ cheese because it’s easy and it’s cheesy. *lol* I haven’t been eating much fruit or veggies because those take time to chop up and whatever blah blah too much work. I may be feeling better but I’m clearly not yet out of the doldrums of finding some everyday tasks just too much bloody work. I’ve been meaning to tidy up my house for days but whenever I have some time off, I manage one thing and then I’ve had enough. Still, doing the one thing is an improvement over sleeping on the couch all day.

I had my first counselling session last night. I’m trying to be optimistic about it and give it an open-minded chance, but it’s hard. I am so used to keeping my stress to myself that opening up to another person is really scary. I wanted to back away and brush past some things and not bring a topic into the discussion but I figured that I should really try for a few sessions and see how I feel. If it’s not working for me but I tried, then okay. But who knows – maybe her techniques will work, and the only way I will know is if I try.

Scary though.

Originally published at idle musings. You can comment here or there.

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