idle musings

It’s been a year since Logan passed. Do I still remember him the way I did the day I wrote this? Do I remember how he felt when I carried him around the garden on his last day? Do I remember the sight of his nose twitching in the wind?

Do I remember the way his tail used to wag so hard his whole back end would wriggle?

Do I remember the way he smelled as a puppy?

Do I remember the way he used to race me from the deck door to the back door?

Do I remember the way he used to lick so hard at his dish to get the last scraps of mashed potatoes out of it that he would bang it against the closet door?

Do I remember the way he lay in his basket, with his head poking over the side?

Do I remember his extraordinarily long eyelashes?

Do I remember how I always wanted to touch his paws and he never wanted to let me because he was ticklish?

Do I remember how he was such a good boy always, never complaining no matter how confusing we must have seemed to him?

Do I remember the way he would get so excited to go for a walk that he would run around and not let me put his harness on?

Do I remember all the times I had to pry some kind of garbage out of his mouth because he always wanted to eat everything?

Do I remember that his breeder’s family called him Barrel?

Do I remember how he was fascinated with the chickens?

Do I remember my first sight of him, sliding on the hardwood floor? Do I remember how, when I picked him up, he butted his head under my chin and took my heart forever?

Do I remember that he loved life, and that he had a long, happy one? Do I remember that we gave him the best death we could, as painfree as we could, because we loved him so?

Do I remember to still miss him?