I have gotten out of the habit of blogging, which is unfortunate because I do like to go back and read older entries and remember things previously forgotten.
Things are changing, and for the better. I am back at work after taking three months off to get myself sorted out and destressed. I am working at a new store in Maple Ridge which has been awesome so far. It does double the sales that my previous store did, and it is really great to be back in a high paced environment. I have stepped down from store manager to shift supervisor to allow myself time to get through my pre-reqs for the AHT program and to allow for a better balance between work and non-work.
I chose a store in Maple Ridge because I wanted to move further away from the city, closer to the country which is where I would eventually like to end up. Current dream home looks like a small two bedroom one bathroom home on a couple of acres. What I’m ‘settling’ for is a three bedroom 2.5 bathroom townhouse in Maple Ridge that has a securely fenced in postage stamp of a yard for Maia. I am so excited by the idea of her being able to pee without necessitating me getting fully dressed every single time!
Also, the dykes in Pitt Meadows will only be about ten minutes drive from the new house. They are the only place that I feel comfortable letting Maia off leash and I love going up there for walks. I have made friends with some other ‘crazy dog ladies’ and we do a walk once a week or more. Two or three or four women – anywhere from four to eleven dogs. It’s madness but a kind that I like.
Slowly but surely I feel like I am getting my life on track to a place that fits. Doing grade 12 biology is showing me how much I love to use my brain, and how little of it I actually use at my current job. Going through the two years of school to become an AHT is looking a lot less scary and a lot more enticing now that I know that science is not beyond me. Moving out of the city is a huge step – I’m a North Van kid and we tend to stay planted on the North Shore. But I feel the wide open spaces of the country calling me, so long as I have the mountains there as well to ground me. I thought I needed to live near the water but I now realize that what I need is space and mountains and dogs.
Maia continues to be the love of my life. I have worked hard at teaching Look at That (from ‘Control Unleashed’ by Leslie McDevitt) to keep her human reactivity down to a minimum. We are starting to see some success and even some generalization of this skill towards other things. Agility is a blast and while I will never be a competitive person and don’t see myself trialling anytime in near future, it is something fun to do with Maia and other like-minded doggy people. At some point I would like to add Rally-O to the mix as well but that will have to wait until I have more money and more time.
Long story short – at the age of 30 I am figuring out what I want and going after it. I am (mostly) not letting my anxiety stand in my way. I am content with where I am and where I am going.