Birthday musings

T'was my birthday on Tuesday – at 34 I am now solidly in my mid-30s. I've never been one to freak out about age or wish that I was younger. My 30s have been much better than my 20s were – being on Effexor to manage my anxiety, being in therapy for the past two years, adding Bosco to my family, moving to a suburb away from the city and closer to the country, and leaving behind the company that I worked for the entire decade of my 20s have all contributed to my contentment with my life.

The thing I have explored a bit in therapy is the idea of happiness. It's not something that I have felt terribly often. The closest thing is when I'm out on the dykes with my dogs and I realize that I have a smile on my face as I'm watching them. Not just that I'm smiling, but that my face hurts because I have been smiling so wide for so long. But happiness is not something that I am familiar with, and not something that I strive for in my life. It seems unobtainable. And risky, because what if one were to become comfortable with the feeling of 'happiness' and then lost it? I'm too risk-adverse to want something that can come and go with no guarantees.

Speaking of things that can come and go: I think most people who are on my friends list also read and therefore know that she is moving out as of November 1. We've been roommates since February of 2011 which means that she falls under my two year curse. All of my romantic relationships, and now my two roommates, have all lasted less than two years. I'm excited for her because she is starting a new chapter of her life – new job, new place, living alone for the first time. I'm looking forward to certain aspects of living alone again, as I lived alone for 10 years before she moved in. I'm looking forward to not having a million lights left on when she's already gone to bed, and I'm looking forward to not having Dennis hair all over my house oh my god dog how are you not bald. But I'm going to miss her desperately when she's gone. She's the little sister I never had, and my best friend, and I know that I won't lose her friendship just because she's on one side of the river and I'm on the other. But it won't be the same, and that makes me sad.

I'm going to need some extra income without H here, so I'm trying to get my dog boarding business off the ground. I have made up posters that I am going to take around to the different vet clinics and pet supply stores, and I have a website (that is not completed yet or I would link to it). I need to make an ad for Craigslist too. And then word of mouth, and hope that I get some traction. If you have any positive thoughts to share, I'll take 'em.

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45 Responses to Birthday musings

  1. blitzkriegx says:

    Stop making me cry. <3Ps. I’m going to bag Dennis hair and sprinkle it like fairy dust all through the house when I visit muahahaha. Also I will word of mouth the hell out of you.

  2. blitzkriegx says:

    Stop making me cry. <3Ps. I’m going to bag Dennis hair and sprinkle it like fairy dust all through the house when I visit muahahaha. Also I will word of mouth the hell out of you.

  3. blitzkriegx says:

    Stop making me cry. <3Ps. I’m going to bag Dennis hair and sprinkle it like fairy dust all through the house when I visit muahahaha. Also I will word of mouth the hell out of you.

  4. blitzkriegx says:

    Stop making me cry. <3Ps. I’m going to bag Dennis hair and sprinkle it like fairy dust all through the house when I visit muahahaha. Also I will word of mouth the hell out of you.

  5. blitzkriegx says:

    Stop making me cry. <3Ps. I’m going to bag Dennis hair and sprinkle it like fairy dust all through the house when I visit muahahaha. Also I will word of mouth the hell out of you.

  6. blitzkriegx says:

    Stop making me cry. <3Ps. I’m going to bag Dennis hair and sprinkle it like fairy dust all through the house when I visit muahahaha. Also I will word of mouth the hell out of you.

  7. blitzkriegx says:

    Stop making me cry. <3Ps. I’m going to bag Dennis hair and sprinkle it like fairy dust all through the house when I visit muahahaha. Also I will word of mouth the hell out of you.

  8. blitzkriegx says:

    Stop making me cry. <3Ps. I’m going to bag Dennis hair and sprinkle it like fairy dust all through the house when I visit muahahaha. Also I will word of mouth the hell out of you.

  9. blitzkriegx says:

    Stop making me cry. <3Ps. I’m going to bag Dennis hair and sprinkle it like fairy dust all through the house when I visit muahahaha. Also I will word of mouth the hell out of you.

  10. pickleboot says:

    you are in the cities, right? we might need your services…..

  11. pickleboot says:

    you are in the cities, right? we might need your services…..

  12. pickleboot says:

    you are in the cities, right? we might need your services…..

  13. pickleboot says:

    you are in the cities, right? we might need your services…..

  14. pickleboot says:

    you are in the cities, right? we might need your services…..

  15. pickleboot says:

    you are in the cities, right? we might need your services…..

  16. pickleboot says:

    you are in the cities, right? we might need your services…..

  17. pickleboot says:

    you are in the cities, right? we might need your services…..

  18. pickleboot says:

    you are in the cities, right? we might need your services…..

  19. re_vised says:

    I feel the same way about Bri, though she’s lived with us for a little less than a year. Whenever she decides to move out I’m going to be really sad…

    I don’t focus much on happiness either, but I do think of things in terms of contentment.

  20. re_vised says:

    I feel the same way about Bri, though she’s lived with us for a little less than a year. Whenever she decides to move out I’m going to be really sad…

    I don’t focus much on happiness either, but I do think of things in terms of contentment.

  21. re_vised says:

    I feel the same way about Bri, though she’s lived with us for a little less than a year. Whenever she decides to move out I’m going to be really sad…

    I don’t focus much on happiness either, but I do think of things in terms of contentment.

  22. re_vised says:

    I feel the same way about Bri, though she’s lived with us for a little less than a year. Whenever she decides to move out I’m going to be really sad…

    I don’t focus much on happiness either, but I do think of things in terms of contentment.

  23. re_vised says:

    I feel the same way about Bri, though she’s lived with us for a little less than a year. Whenever she decides to move out I’m going to be really sad…

    I don’t focus much on happiness either, but I do think of things in terms of contentment.

  24. re_vised says:

    I feel the same way about Bri, though she’s lived with us for a little less than a year. Whenever she decides to move out I’m going to be really sad…

    I don’t focus much on happiness either, but I do think of things in terms of contentment.

  25. re_vised says:

    I feel the same way about Bri, though she’s lived with us for a little less than a year. Whenever she decides to move out I’m going to be really sad…

    I don’t focus much on happiness either, but I do think of things in terms of contentment.

  26. re_vised says:

    I feel the same way about Bri, though she’s lived with us for a little less than a year. Whenever she decides to move out I’m going to be really sad…

    I don’t focus much on happiness either, but I do think of things in terms of contentment.

  27. re_vised says:

    I feel the same way about Bri, though she’s lived with us for a little less than a year. Whenever she decides to move out I’m going to be really sad…

    I don’t focus much on happiness either, but I do think of things in terms of contentment.

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