T'was my birthday on Tuesday – at 34 I am now solidly in my mid-30s. I've never been one to freak out about age or wish that I was younger. My 30s have been much better than my 20s were – being on Effexor to manage my anxiety, being in therapy for the past two years, adding Bosco to my family, moving to a suburb away from the city and closer to the country, and leaving behind the company that I worked for the entire decade of my 20s have all contributed to my contentment with my life.
The thing I have explored a bit in therapy is the idea of happiness. It's not something that I have felt terribly often. The closest thing is when I'm out on the dykes with my dogs and I realize that I have a smile on my face as I'm watching them. Not just that I'm smiling, but that my face hurts because I have been smiling so wide for so long. But happiness is not something that I am familiar with, and not something that I strive for in my life. It seems unobtainable. And risky, because what if one were to become comfortable with the feeling of 'happiness' and then lost it? I'm too risk-adverse to want something that can come and go with no guarantees.
Speaking of things that can come and go: I think most people who are on my friends list also read
I'm going to need some extra income without H here, so I'm trying to get my dog boarding business off the ground. I have made up posters that I am going to take around to the different vet clinics and pet supply stores, and I have a website (that is not completed yet or I would link to it). I need to make an ad for Craigslist too. And then word of mouth, and hope that I get some traction. If you have any positive thoughts to share, I'll take 'em.