I managed to tell my therapist my deepest darkest secret. And I didn't die! (That's our yardstick for difficult conversations. Did you die? No? Ok it's probably going to be ok then.)
I am in a curious place now of confronting a deep held belief about myself that might possibly be untrue. And if it's untrue, then it opens up avenues in my life that I didn't think would ever be open.
It's bloody scary. I'm just … sitting with these thoughts right now. I have a tendency to get fatalistic so I'm trying to just be open to the idea that things could possibly be different. It helps that last year we confronted my other hugely negative self-belief and now when it tries to rear its head at me I tell it to back the fuck down, that I don't play that game any more. So change can happen. These beliefs are not rooted in stone.