idle musings

I need a new job. Badly. Badly badly badly. I promised myself when I went back to school that I wouldn’t end up doing the same job again and what did I do when I graduated? I took the easy option, and now here I am almost two years later and I. want. out. Thing [...]

One of the things that I am learning, slowly, is that it is okay for me to not want to interact with toxic people, or passive aggressive people, or mean people, or people who are unwilling to respect my boundaries, regardless of whether they believe them to be valid. It’s thanks to people like Melissa [...]

I dreamed about an ex of mine last night. I haven’t seen him in years; we were together when I was 15-17 years old – we’re talking an old ex. I’ve dreamed about him multiple times over the past few months. I think this means I’ll run into him soon, as I have found when [...]

I had coffee with a girlfriend yesterday who I haven’t seen in quite some time. I was talking about Andy, and she commented on how I used to always be ‘Dogs dogs dogs!’ but now I seem to be all about cats as well. My response was that I used to think that one had [...]

I was going to write a post about 2008, how horrible it was and how I’m hoping that this year will be better. Before I did so, I was going through my inbox and I decided to finally read the Animal Advocates Christmas newsletter. It’s all ‘happy endings’ but the animals who end up with [...]

I miss kink. I don’t miss sex, much, (although if I were offered from a certain somebody I certainly wouldn’t say no), but I miss playing. I miss being hurt. I miss the headspace that comes from painful sensation, turning that same pain into … something different. I miss subspace. I miss ropes and cuffs [...]

I was exhausted last night – I was lying in bed and reading my book but I kept falling asleep while doing it. You know when the book falls and hits you in the face? Yeah. So I thought, I may as well just go to sleep. It was 6pm. I slept almost all the [...]

I went out last night with friends, and I didn’t feel the slightest twinge of anxiety the whole time. There was massive traffic heading over town because of an accident on the bridge – I just listened to my music and dawdled along. We went to get perogies at the Ukrainian Orthodox Church on W10th [...]

I ran into one of my ex-boyfriends on Facebook a few weeks ago. I friended him, he friended me back, and then we emailed a bit, and then we went for coffee. It was cool, actually, to see him again. We broke up 7 years ago, so any anger or sadness or anything has faded; [...]

A friend said that to me. “Maybe you just need to redefine what is normal to you, Erin. Your life has changed – why wouldn’t what you consider to be normal change too?” It’s something I have been mulling over since we had the conversation. It struck me as pretty insightful at a time when [...]